Carving clarity out of someone else’s ambiguity.
It can be challenging when a stakeholder, client, peer or even board member, isn’t clear with what they are looking for. This can show up in a myriad of ways;
Asking for one thing and then when it is delivered is clearly disappointed signaled as “I guess I thought we were on the same page” or “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough with my ask”
Going around in circles and contradict themselves in the process “Just be creative but not too creative, you know?”
Seeking opinions from everyone and anyone “Let me see what Gerry thinks before we sign anything off!”
Copycatting by leaning on comparisons or something they’ve seen elsewhere “I looooooove what Nike did on that last influencer campaign. I’d love to push us to do something but heads up we have a budget freeze.”
This can not only be frustrating and time-consuming it can lead to disappointment on both sides.
In both my practice as a practitioner and managing expectations of some fleeting founders, and as a business owner, navigating the grey that is my client’s “leadership” needs, I’ve had to excel at creating clarity through their uncertainty. When I reflect on how I do this, it brings me right back to my coaching fundamentals.
One of the first and fundamental lessons I was taught through my coaching program was the 5 C’s of coaching:
Connect
Clarify
Collaborate
Challenge
Commit
Here’s how you can apply these fundamentals to navigating your stakeholder uncertainty.
NB: I’ve seen in practice how too often we quickly jump into stakeholder meetings with the belief that we need to propose the solution so we take up all the air time at the start of the meeting and miss HUGE opportunities in taking the time upfront to understand their needs. This model is intended to be used at the start of a meeting, so hold back your opinions until you get all the facts.
1. Connect:
You need to deploy great active listening skills in order to connect. The “clarity” answer usually shows up in what people aren’t saying and we can only pick up on that when we are REALLY listening. Hold back your judgment, notion, and ideas, and listen in to what your stakeholder is asking for. Folks give off more cues in their communication (both verbal and nonverbal) so look out for all signs and signals. Show that you understand where your stakeholders are coming from by playing back their needs as you understand them, and highlight any constraints that might be making this project difficult for them.
“I am really looking forward to working with you on this project, and I pick up from our conversations there is a lot riding on this to be successful, so I’ll be sure that we stay close partners on this to be there to support you and your team”.
2. Clarify:
One of the best ways to build rapport with others is to playback what you’ve heard them say. This is a superpower in coaching/facilitation whereby giving the person space to lay it all out, by actively listening, we can playback to them what they are looking for in a clear, articulate and objective way. This is also a great moment to pull out what REALLY matters to your stakeholder.
“So from what I understand you want to achieve this result by this date and by accomplishing that you’ll satisfy a promise that your boss has made to the board?”
Another thing to note here is to playback what is NOT important to them to stress test their true commitment.
“Correct me if I’m wrong but what I am hearing is that if we just achieve a working prototype by that date, you’ll be able to take that forward and will be happy with us to continue building after the fact?”
Sometimes being intentionally provocative with playback statements gives you a chance to really see where they stand but don’t be too out there as it could indicate that you’ve not been listening to their needs and you’ll have to re-establish Step 1: Connect.
3. Collaborate
So we’ve now established rapport and clarified what really matters, now we use this space to divide and conquer. Ask them point blank what role they would like you to play in this project and create your own definitions of what a RACI is for this instance. This is your space to bring your ideas forward and see how they land. Remember we have to meet people where they are and if your ambitious ideas aren’t landing, start smaller and bring them with you.
“From previous projects we have done that feel similar to this one, we’ve found working in this way to be successful, how do you think that could work for you?”
“In order for us to achieve the goals you’ve shared at the start of this conversation, it’s important that we build in ample time for research as it will guide us towards a much better outcome. How comfortable are you if we take that time upfront?”
4. Challenge
After sharing ideas, and getting a sense of their true by in and appetite for creative “risk” you can now use the knowledge gained to see how big the gap is between Clarify stage “what they want” and Collaborate stage “what they are willing to do”. Compassionately challenge them to highlight what their willingness is and how that might negatively impact the project. You want to do some healthy pushback to see how willing they are to really move forward towards their goal. This is NOT meant to intimidate them but to help them decide that this is really the path they want to take.
“My concern is that if we don’t get the space to do research we are going to come back with suboptimal results that will end up disappointing the board and make your team look bad. What’s your take on this?”
“Assume this project gets delayed due to unforeseen circumstances, how confident are you to push back your bosses’ tight deadline?”
What comes up in this stage might uncover new news and I’d encourage you to move back up to step 2 Clarify. I personally always use the outcome they share with me as the anchor to the conversation whenever it moves off course, gets too lofty or they start adding more and more elements. My go to question is:
“How does that serve the objective you stated at the beginning of our conversation?”
5. Commit
Here’s your chance to put pen on paper what’s going to happen next. Maybe you’re still not getting the clarity you’re looking for so break down with your stakeholder the next, smallest step that would indicate we are moving forward. If you’re working with someone that is clearly unsure of their needs, avoid going away and working tons of hours on something that could be way off the mark. Go away and spend a limited amount of time on it and playback to them your draft. I often ask “How many hours should my team work on this before we show you the progress?”
At the end of the day, no one wants you to spend time, money, or resources on the wrong thing so with that in mind, express any concerns you have if the brief is still feeling blurry.
“I want to ensure we are making the most of your time / resources and at this stage I’m still hesitant that we have the right scope. I’d like to propose we set up another meeting where we can stress test some mock-up prototypes. Although it will add another week to the project it will help us move with pace once we are clear on the outcome. Does that work for you?”
When I first learned the 5 C’s process for coaching, it felt overwhelming and an unnatural way of having a conversation. It took me years to hold back my thoughts, ideas, and presentations when coming into a meeting with a stakeholder. With practice, it got more easy and more natural and now I don’t even notice I’m doing it. This powerful approach helps you get what you need by offering clarity for your stakeholder. Win:Win.