The other side of layoffs.
Layoffs are rough and for any manager that has had to lead a round of layoffs, you know too well how the scars never seem to fade. You may be delivering hard news on behalf of someone else’s decisions, especially ones that you weren’t even involved with making or shaping. You’ve either been given the script but you don’t have all the context, and you don’t have the answers or you’ve been asked to give a list of names with a hard deadline. Either way, it’s not going to be pretty, and there’s nothing that can prepare you for what’s to come. People are unpredictable, emotional and irrational and when having to deliver news like this face to face (or through a zoom), you have to hold steady and keep your emotions in check.
The wave of emotions that you witness and receive, call after call, is piercing. You’re exhausted but you have to keep going. It’s painful but, as you’ve been told, it must happen. You feel powerless and hopeless, you want to reach through the screen, put your arm around and reassure them it’s going to be okay. Of course you can rationalize why it’s being done, we hired too quickly, didn’t make hard choices, etc. You’re struggling with ‘how’ they are being done; a lack of comms, lack of consideration and seemingly little compassion. Regardless, you still have to deliver the message as instructed, and ‘tow the line’.
A million ‘ what-ifs’ swirl through your mind and you might start to wonder if there was more you could have done to avoid getting to this point. You want to run. Close everything. Disappear. Take it back.
This is not about you.
Give them space. Nothing you say or do will rationalize what’s happened. You may even become the face of the enemy. Sit with this.
It’s not your fault.
So what about you? What’s next? The cut is deep. You know that one day it will be a battle scar but for now, it’s still fresh. You start to question everything. Perhaps even your confidence in the organization has been rattled and you don’t know how to move forward.
You still have a team to lead.
The team that’s still got a job to do need you to show up now. They are craving your leadership. They want reassurance, clarity, and a space to ask questions. Be visible, be clear. You may not have the playbook, but you must point them in the right direction.
This is the side of leadership that we gloss over in the books.
This is the dark side.
What about me, you ask? What about how I feel?
It’s lonely. It’s selfless. It’s exhausting. During this time, lean on your lateral peers, those that have gone through the same process. They are feeling the same things as you are. Humanize this by being open, learn from others by asking questions, and sharing your experience. Exchange what’s working to help manage the emotional load.
What’s in your control?
Close your eyes. Breathe. In this present moment, everything is ok. Yes, you want to justify the decisions but you have to let go because it wasn’t yours to decide. Every thought and action is yours to chose. How are you really, really, feeling? Let it out. When we address it we can fix it.
Guilt. Anger. Shame. Sadness. Loss. Grief. Confusion. Anxiety. You are human, these feelings are natural.
Let them swirl around, don’t push them away. Observe the thoughts, and write them down.
This is the time to reflect, not to act.
Breathe. In for four, hold for four, out for four.
Do it again.
One more time.
Reflect. Write what comes to mind, don’t overthink. Let it go.
What would you need to hear, and from whom, to feel better?
What permission do you need to give yourself at this time?
What do you need to let go of in order to move forward?
Put yourself in your teams shoes. What are they seeing, hearing, thinking? If you were them. Reflect on what what kind of leadership would you appreciate at this time (be specific)?
To continue show up as a leader for your team, what words, actions, and attention (where we put our focus) would help your team best this time?
My Words:
My Actions:
My Attention (focus):
How can you balance showing compassion and moving towards a new direction?
You may not want to feel it right now, but know that, you got this.